How to Let Go of Negativity – Dr. Paula Fellingham

Sad beautiful woman agaist window.

~By Dr. Paula Fellingham~

Paula here! Over my years of travelling and speaking around the world, I have learned that most women have very similar challenges in their lives. I dedicate my blog entries to all women who want to live more joyful lives and need some assistance and solutions… women who want to make positive changes in their personal lives and as mothers. In my blogs I address the most frequently-asked questions I receive at seminars and from webinars and emails. Here’s one:

Question:        How do I let go of negativity from my past; mistakes I’ve made and people who have hurt me? How do I release myself from the past?


Everyone 30 and older regrets a ton of stuff – mistakes we’ve made; things we’ve said; ways we’ve handled relationships. We’ve all had painful experiences that we can easily recall. And well-meaning people (relatives, mostly) tell us to “just forget about it!” But how?

Truly, unless you lose your memory, you can’t totally forget. I’d like to suggest that you shouldn’t want to because all experiences can be for your good when you learn how to pull valuable life lessons out of the pain.

From painful experiences we learn what doesn’t work for us, and what does; what personalities we can and can’t work with. We learn that we can survive and be stronger because of the refiner’s fire we walked through. And we learn how to listen more carefully, appreciate more fully, and love more deeply. Yes, you are a better, stronger person today because of past mistakes. The trick is to take the best and discard the rest.

Here’s a powerfully effective way to release yourself from negative thoughts:

Prevent mental torment by stopping the anguish the moment it enters your mind. When the negative thought first presents itself like, “If I’d been there more often when my son was little we’d have a better relationship now. I was a bad mom.”  LABEL it and say to yourself, “That’s negative.” Labeling a thought acts like a huge stop sign.

Then REPLACE the thought with a better one. Here’s a good replacement: “I made the best decision I could with the information I had at the time. I have more information now and I’ll do better in the future.” You didn’t try and make mistakes! Be kind to yourself. Get out of the past and into the future with self-talk that takes you there.


With all my love –

Dr. Paula Fellingham

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Ambassador Mohktar Lamani, Former Director of the OIC (working with all Islamic Nations) at the United Nations

“Paula Fellingham has the wonderful ability of empowering people to improve their lives and their relationships. As she strengthens individuals and families, she is strengthening communities and nations by providing solutions that work.”


Jill Donnelly, Former President of the World Movement of Mothers, Paris, France

“Paula, you’re doing wonderful things to strengthen families in America. The good work you’re doing is needed now, more than ever before in the history of our world, as we sadly watch the disintegration of the family. It’s happening in every nation on the face of the earth. If only we had more women like you to lead families toward a brighter tomorrow!”


Deneen Morgan-Burley, Baltimore, MD

“Paula, I want to take the time to thank you for doing this for WOMEN. We need all of the encouragement, mentoring, and uplifting that we can get. More importantly, however, we need the LOVE. That’s what each of us felt radiate from you. I am grateful that our paths crossed and we are now a part of one another’s lives. I am so happy and thankful to be able to step forward and serve. May we continue to let our light shine as we do all we must to continue to be “Women Helping Women to live Our Best Lives.” God bless you. Keep smiling and making a difference in the lives of other women.” 


Val McCloud – Savannah, GA

“The time has come. I’m on a fast track now. Much has manifested since the Global Women’s Summit in Savannah. I’m in the early steps of having my own television show, clothing line and specialty food/water product line. I’ve also recently partnered with Delta to promote and expand their global healthy initiatives. I am their official spokesperson and will participate in their annual {my first} 5K on May 17 in Atlanta.  All things are possible when we believe.”  


Linda Pringle Evans, Columbus, Ohio

“Things are going extremely well for me. I am blessed and I thank YOU and the Global Women’s Summit experience for assisting my journey. The connections I made are everlasting. Because of you I have realized my 5 core services and thanks to the Global Women’s Summit, God, and Paula, I have also found myself!”


Gail Page, CA

“What a fantastic two days! I learned and re-learned so much. How lucky we were to have you visit our town and share your gifts with us. You and your group changed lives and helped us remember what is good in the world. What a blessing to all of us that you came! Thank you so much.”