By Dr. Paula Fellingham
Creating positive change in our lives begins with understanding the principle of choice ~ of agency. The principle of choice makes change possible.
I remember the very moment it happened for me. I was sitting on the front row of a seminar when the speaker quoted Eleanor Roosevelt. That great lady said, “No one can make me feel inferior without my consent.” I remember thinking, Wow! That means that we allow people to offend us. We allow people to make us angry. Our reaction to people and our circumstances is our choice! And then my mind took it a step further and I thought, That means that if we can allow people to make us angry, we can refuse to be offended, or angry…
Time actually seemed to stand still as I pondered, then understood, this incredible concept: We can respond to others and to our circumstances however we choose. And I realized that the time had come to take control of my life. I’ve been working on perfecting this principle in my personal life for three decades now.
We have a myriad of choices every moment…our minds will take us wherever we wish. The very first and most important thing we need to understand is our role in creating the results that are our lives.
And yet, many people are weighed down with challenges that are absolutely no fault of their own. Children are abused, parents divorce, bad things happen to good people. But right now, as adults, we have choices regarding how we deal with our past and present circumstances. We can either point fingers, blame, withdraw, resent, or we can turn our faces to the future and focus on solutions. We can allow ourselves to be pulled backwards, or we can “take the best and discard the rest” from past experiences and move forward. The choice is ours.