Your Body Weight is NOT Your Enemy

“Weight is the screen that prevents us from looking within for the whisper of who we truly are.”  Ashly Torian

We believe what we imagine is true. If the belief is “I am too big and no one will like me because of that”, then the toxic belief eventually becomes true.  My body will respond and I would contract and become small, no one will notice me, life will be yucky and I would be miserable.

This toxic belief leads to a dark place; one that is made up and untrue.

Body Weight and how we relate to it is a rocky relationship.  Sometimes we are friends…and sometimes we are arch enemies…but no matter what, we are always connected, well, at least we are meant to be.

When we are friends with our body and the weight she reflects, she is cooperating and staying where we “like” her to.  We talk nice and appreciate her, and tend to give her what she needs. But if the body’s weight goes up to a place we don’t like, we begin to judge and criticize her; we are not nice nor do we show appreciation for our body.  We punish ourselves by over-eating, binge eating OR we over exercise in a punishing way.

Food is not the enemy either.

Just because a “bad” food is eaten, doesn’t mean punishing exercise, or other form of punishment you choose, has to be done for eating it.  Food has no moral value; it is neither good nor bad.  Food is for nourishment not punishment.  We are pleasure beings and that is what we are meant to experience.

So if weight isn’t the enemy and food isn’t the enemy and neither are holding you back from your ideal body, then what is?

Are you ready for this? 

You made it up.

It is your imagined perceptions that you believe to be true.  Those are the enemy.

These are known as Toxic Dietary Beliefs.

Are you ready to stop giving them power? And finally be FREE to live in the body you desire?

Here are 2 ways you can begin to free yourself from this body jail you have created.

One is to step into your body as it is now, with all the mess, extra weight, and brokenness.  As hard as it may seem, you have got to take this first step.

Those of you in denial about the true nature of your body might be thinking, “I am in my body…that is the way I get around”

Well, not true. If you dislike or even hate your body because of the weight she is holding onto, then you do not whole-heartedly accept your body. You live dis-embodied.

The way to step into your beautiful body is done like this: Take a deep breath, place your hands over the part of your body you dislike the most and say” I am listening, I am open, I am so sorry for ignoring you, what is it you would like me to know?”

And just remain quiet for as long as it takes for her to answer back. And she will.

Another way to do this is writing a letter from your body to you, expressing past treatment, how it has made her (your body) feel, how she has responded and what she would like from you now.

This is very powerful and something we do in the E.N.D. Retreat that I offer.  It is perception changing.

Another way to eliminate this toxic belief is to involve Pleasure in your life.

Pleasure is experienced in many ways; it doesn’t have to be with food, it can be a walk in nature, singing, painting, drawing, jazz, music, ballet, anything.

Stop the war with your body by developing your pleasure inventoryA pleasure inventory is a detailed list of everything in life that brings you pleasure. Include all things big and small that enrich your life. It could be as grand as an exotic vacation or as simple as petting your dog.

Here is one way to do this: pick a time to be with just yourself and draw up a list of everything you can think of that brings a smile to your eyes and joy to your heart. This process may take several days; in fact, I continue to add to mine. It is a work in progress. The way we experience pleasure, as we shift and change in life, is amplified. You will continue to add to this pleasure list as you open yourself up to receiving more pleasure.

Why is pleasure so important to our well-being? Pleasure is a metabolic powerhouse. Pleasure is a vital nutrient in life. When the body physically feels pleasure it catalyzes the relaxation response, which allows the body to burn fat for energy and hold on to lean tissue.

Keep this in mind;

A relaxed, pleasure-filled eater has natural appetite control


When pleasure is eliminated in life, the craving for sweets and carb filled goodies is on the rise. And your good intentions are left behind in the wake of a fast food binge or over eating frenzy.

Add to that, without pleasure, we humans tend to get a little cranky and look to food to ease the tension.  STOP making food the “bad guy”, stop blaming the cause for body weight issues on something else and see the issue for what it is ….you are looking for pleasure, plain and simple.

Seek and find what brings joy, goodness and pleasure to you; is it sitting at the park and watching life happen around you, taking a moment to breathe in the aroma of honey suckle, the smile of a baby, the playfulness of your children, reflecting on all that is beautiful in your life, rolling your foot on a ball while sitting at your desk, a massage, lunch with your best friend? etc.

Make your list now, don’t delay. Bring that smile to your face and warmth to your heart. This puts your body in a place to burn fat for energy, lower heart rate, lower blood pressure, and regulate blood sugar.

Pleasure is vitally necessary and not only GOOD for your heath but most importantly puts you IN your body!

Don’t let your body weight or size prevent you from living freely and fully.

Once you release this toxic belief, your body will respond by letting go of the weight she doesn’t need for protection.

You will experience your much desired FREEDOM.

Ashly Torian is the founder of Ashly’s Bio~Balance, author, speaker and creator of the E.N.D. Retreat, a place where you FREE yourself from food and body confinement.

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